True Friendships In a Digital World

"No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)

Jesus has shared with us in this statement the beauty of friendship.  He indicates to His Apostles that His relationship with them was deep, beautiful, and true.  Jesus made known to them what matters the most to Him, everything that the Father had made known to Him, He shared with His Apostles.  Friendships are great blessings where we can really be seen and known.  Within friendships, we make known to the other what is in our heart; those things that matter most to us.  It is a relationship of sharing where both individuals are giving and receiving love from one another.  Truly friendships are gifts where we help and support one another on the way to heaven.  It is within the context of friendship that we are challenged to be more virtuous and to journey with each other on the way to God.    

When we consider our "life in the fast lane" with these new technological advancements, especially with the development of AI, we need to consider this topic of friendship more closely.  Is AI becoming a substitute for genuine friendships?  We know that today there is a real poverty of loneliness. People are longing to be seen, known and loved, yet are afraid to enter into friendships due to brokenness, disappointment, and hurts from their past.  Indeed, brokenness can only heal from having true and loving relationships first with God and also with people who can honestly care for us.  This can be difficult, however, it is the path to true wholeness and communion.  God loves us totally, and we need to see how knowledge and experience of His love, especially in the Sacraments, can animate relationships, going beyond the level of self-gratification to a true and beautiful love for the other.  We want our relationships to go beyond  'friendships of usefulness' to  'friendships of wholeness' where we genuinely will the good for the other; the ultimate good which is eternal life with God.  

Our Holy Father explains to us in his encyclical that "AI systems do not undergo experiences, do not possess a body, feel joy or pain, mature through relationships, do not know from within what love, work, friendship or responsibility mean.  Nor do they have a moral conscience since they do not judge good and evil..." (Magnifica Humanitas, 99).  Clearly, AI is not human. It does not have a soul like we have as human beings therefore it cannot know all of those qualities that you would find in good friendships: love, mercy and forgiveness.   

In light of this, one can conclude that technology is not meant to be our friend. It is meant to assist us as a tool for completing tasks with the dignity of the human person always in mind.

So what must be done?  We need to come back to genuinely caring about each other because we are all children of God.  We need to be able to recognize that no technology can ever be a substitute for a real and true friendship.  The Catechism tells us that we alone are created "to share, by knowledge and love in God's own life" (CCC 356).  We are able to know and love the One who created us in his "image and likeness."  We are able to enter into communion with one another and to offer to our Creator a response of faith and love.  What a beautiful gift to be a human person with a body and soul.  Machines and technology will all one day pass away but we have the great hope of being in eternity with God in heaven and we have a sacred duty to help one another on the way through friendship.  

A good examination for friendship can be found in St. Paul's letter to the Colossians.  As we read this passage, perhaps we can ask ourselves:  What kind of friendships do I have?  What kind of friend am I right now?  What kind of friend do I want to be?  Do I recognize my need for real, genuine friendships?

"Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience,  forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."  (Colossians 3:12-14). 

So, let us ask the Lord for the grace to have good and holy friendships.  Let us ask the Lord for the grace to treasure our friendships and not to be afraid to open our hearts in love and service.