Out of My Hands
Do you ever have those moments where you wish you could go back in time and change what you said or did? Do you ever have those moments where you say to yourself, ‘What was I thinking?’ Do you ever have those moments where you feel like you have made a total fool of yourself? Do you ever have those moments where you ask: “Lord, why on earth did you allow that to happen?” Well…if you say “yes” to any of the above questions…you are not alone!
I believe that everyone has had these moments from time to time where we feel foolish. However, the real growth can be found in how we respond to these experiences. We can fall into self-pity and choose to dwell on them with a spirit of agitation and even anger. Or we can look at these experiences and conclude that the Lord is showing us something about ourselves that we did not see before…He could be showing us that we must learn that some things are out of our hands and must be surrendered to God. St. Francis De Sales has really great advice when it comes to dealing with these moments: “Don’t get upset with your imperfections. It’s a great mistake because it leads nowhere…Simply surrender to the power of God’s love, which is always greater than our weakness.”
This word ‘surrender’ is very key in the spiritual life. We are afraid to surrender to God because we like being in control. However, God wants us to be free…truly free. He does not want us to be afraid of what His will is, but rather to open our arms wide and say ‘yes’ to His holy will for us. He wants us to see that in the end, God allowed this experience out of love for us and this experience was in fact good for us because it leads us to a deeper surrender to Christ. We realize we cannot do anything without Christ! If we struggle with hanging onto shame of the past, it is much better to leave the past in the hands of God with a prayer of trust that I found in The Surrender Novena: “Jesus I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.” In my experience of praying this prayer, Jesus brings peace to the soul and allows us to see everything in the light of His love. The burdens and worries fall out of our hands and into the Heart of Christ who only wants our greatest good. Remember our Lord says to us, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28-30 RSV).
Sometimes in our surrender we can think that God is going to take something away from us…that we will somehow feel unfulfilled or empty on the inside. Sometimes we can be afraid that God is out to make our lives miserable. However, Pope Benedict XVI tells us: “Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life.”
July is the month of dedication to the Precious Blood, where we remember our Lord’s Passion and Death. We remember his outpouring love for us, and we remember that through His Precious Blood, sanctifying grace comes to us and the gates of heaven are open wide to us! In those experiences where we feel afraid to surrender, remember that Jesus totally gave Himself to the will of His Father in love for us. Even though it caused Him great pain and anguish, Jesus gave Himself completely for us in that total act of surrender. So let us now pray that we can imitate Christ in His surrender and not hold onto shame or worry but allow all of these burdens to fall out of our hands and into the hands of Christ.
